Married a year and having second thoughts? Any advice?


Here are the short details
-Married one year
-no kids
-no debt
-I don't have my own money
-He's a bad listener
-Even worse when I try to “talk things out”
-He always has something negative to say to me [my looks,intelligence,weight,etc.]
-Everything is always my fault and he puts on this…

1. He’s showing signs of being emotionally abusive. Not good.

2. How dare he call you the abusive one when you shut down. That’s the complete opposite of being abusive.

3. You sound very unhappy. I mean, look at how you described your marriage. I see no hope. If you aren’t getting what you want out of the relationship, you need to get out of it. If you stay with him and just hope that one day things will be different, you will trap yourself in an extremely unhappy and painful marriage for a long long time. Don’t do that to yourself.

4. I must say, this situation isn’t unfamiliar, though. Often times, people don’t find out who their boyfriends or fiancees truly are until they’re actually married to them. The guy sometimes feels like “Oh, I got the girl now, no need to keep trying to make her happy.” And so he stops putting effort into the relationship. Do not wait for things to look up again, because they most likely won’t. Nobody deserves an unhappy marriage. This is the rest of your life we’re talking about here, and you can’t just be miserable the whole time. Divorce him and start off fresh.

Nope. Get out while you can. You’re worth more. Some guys act like the victim and make others or spouses look bad. He doesn’t care. He just wants someone o lean on. Maybe he cares a little but not enough for a marriage. Don’t play yourself out any longer. Tell you a divorce and find somebody new. You’ve tried and tried and tried. No more chances. A lot of marriages don’t last a year. Looks like this is one of them. Don’t continue in this marriage longer or it wil hurt more. Do what’s right and end it. If its not ment to be its not ment to be. A lot of girls are in the same position and are stupid and have a terrible marriage and stay longer or break it off and find a new guy who’s the love of their life.

Love and marriage are supposed to make you happy, it seems like he put on a front to get you and now he has he doesn’t have to keep up the pretense.

Be your own person, not what someone wants you to be, you have no kids, no debt, so make your own money, if you can’t the government will help you.

Don’t stay trapped for the sake of marriage and let the situation drain your self confidence, spirit and drive.

Leave him, there is nothing stopping you only yourself, do it now before it gets worse or is too late.

This is definitely an abusive relationship. It takes to 2 love and make things work. 1 cannot do it by themselves. I would record all your conversations without him knowing it and hide them in different places in case he finds some, this will be to your benefit later on, especially when it comes to family. ie your parents. You really need to get out of this, and learn to be independent, nothing wrong with dating the right guy to is good to you and for you but rushing into marriage is always a bad idea. Good luck.

cannot believe that you are still a virgin. He may have erectile dysfunction. This is what you can do, analyze your own ability, see what jobs you are capable of doing efficiently, then go ahead and get a job, see what new skills you can learn, by all this, get independent financially, then sit down with him and frankly discuss this issue. But going through all you have said, it seems simply he does not like you at all. If you make a few compromises (like working hours, salary, position), there will be a honorable way of earning a livelihood.

Leave him. Move out. Move home or in with your best friend. Get on with your life. Start a-new. You don’t need this for the rest of your life. Find something better. One step at a time but first you have to leave. If he really cares he will find a way to change (counseling).

Be everything you want him to be to you. Stop thinking bout the other side. Enjoy him. If conversation is an issue – stop talking and start playing, give space and take space. Do things with a smile. Love him. Love is patient, kind, gentle, good, and all that stuff. Not judgemental or rude.

You should get a divorce. You are still young to rebuild your life again. It’s better to do it early stage rather then hurting yourself more by staying and hoping things will get better.

Look up the word narcassist and everything will fall into place, you need to get out of this toxic relationship.

kick him out of your life and take your own way for the betterment of your future.

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