Ok, I am as pro-choice as they come but this is ridiculous, how can I handle it?


My former best friend called me today to tell me she's pregnant and getting an abortion next week. I'm not going to try to talk her out of it or anything, it's her choice, but…this is abortion #10. Seriously, no joke. She has 3 children already form the ages 13-17. My issue is, I don't want to…

I, myself am pro-life but to each his own I always say.

I hope I’m not rude by saying this but perhaps she should go get her tubes tied. It is pretty clear that she no longer has the desire to have anymore children so that would be the solution.

wow no wonder shes your former best friend I think you should be forward with her cordial and respectful, but blunt still
Tell her youre 25 weeks (with your first?) pregnant and really dont want to think about abortions or anything like that right now, that you want to think about your own pregnancy, your own baby, succesful pregnancies, positive stories of women having babies at this time in your life
say that youre her friend, and you care for her, but you just dont want to be involved right now in the details of her abortion this time. And if you must and find the courgae to, then tell her you honestly think that her getting so many abortions is thoughtless, selfish, irresponsible, and is probably hurting herself in some way. And also that it’s bad for her physically, it is probably dmaging her reproductive organs by now. (Honestly I dont know how shes able to get pregnant anyway after 9 abortions…and even if she continued this one, there would likely be complications such as preterm birth, or even worse miscarriage or stillbirth…even though abortions performed today are medical and legal, more than 3 puts you at a higher risk of having complications with a continued pregnancy, it’s in medcial and nursing books, it’s a fact)
Tell you are there for her in any way you can be, but you just cant support her in this decision specifically right now bc your going through your own things, adjusting to pregnancy, preparing for motherhood, dealing with hormones, etc. She’s a mother of 3, therefore had 3 continued pregnancies, so she should udnerstand this aspect at least.
And I completely agree with you. Yeah 1 abortion, 2 even 3 …but 9? 10? that is ridiculous if she really doesnt want any more children she should either have a tubal ligation or go on a good birth control….she shouldnt make innocent potential babies be taken away from the possibility of life….I’m sure at this point she probably does think it’s a joke…but I think it’s because she’s hardened her heart and doesnt want to believe in any remote way that she is doing something wrong and selfish. I think the fact that she calls youa lot and tells you these things proves she herself is not really confident about her decisions to abort anymore…but keeps doing it because it’s the easy way out and sadly, out of habit.
Just tell her how you feel. It might hurt her, but it might help her in some ways. Maybe it will make her realize life isnt a joke and she should learn her lesson by now.
and please dont do what earth goddess sugested after having 9 abortions, i dont thinka video like that would make much of a difference by now, shes probably heard it all before, I think it would get to her more if you, her friend, told her the truth rather than some propaganda prolife video. And also, even if those videos did make her rethink, telling some1 who’s had 9 abortions and is about to have her 10th that abortion is sick and murder wil l make her hate herself possibly and go crazy, you dont want that either.

Wow…Abortion #10, that’s absolutely horrible. Depending on the kind of friendship you guys have, you could try being straight up with her about things…be honest about how you feel…”I know I’m pro-choice and everything, but come on, your tenth abortion? Why don’t you get on the pill?” If being that straight forward isn’t for you, then you might want to say something like, “When do you see your doctor again? You’re going to talk to him/her about getting on the pill, right?” And if she says no to that, I’d say something like, “I really think you should be on some sort of birth control in case you get pregnant again…abortion is your choice, but having ten of them seems a bit much.” Or something along those lines.

It’s a very delicate situation, and she’s obviously using abortion as a method of birth control, which is disgusting. And if she refuses to go on the pill, if she refuses to use any sort of contraception at all, then the next time it happens (which would be inevitable, I’m sure), and the next time she comes to you to talk about it, I’d be straight up and honest about how you feel about what she’s done…I couldn’t be friends with someone like that, and if you don’t feel you can be friends with her, then you need to be honest and let her know how you feel. Good luck to you.

Wow, I want to cry. I know you want to talk to her in the best way possible without hurting her feelings or making her upset. Maybe you could just casually ask her if she has considered birth control, and say you are suggesting it because abortions are hard on your body. I am very much against abortion in most cases, so this makes my heart ache, but It’s not my place to judge anyone’s actions. I hope you can find the right words to say. I know you care about her and her children, so maybe your concern for her will show her that you are being a friend by talking to her about this. I hope you find the words!

Yea, I think she needs counseling! I am pro-choice as well, but at some point I think we should draw a line. Abortion certainly is NOT a form of contraception. You should tell you friend to get her tubes tied. That way you dont have to hear about it and it saves like what- i dont know- maybe ten more baby lives?
I would be very disgusted in her if she were my friend.

It’s a matter of perception. Abortion = death in most people’s minds. Being pro-Abortion is too close to being pro-death when people think about it. So people who are pro-Abortion want to frame the discussion as being about the “Choice” to have an abortion. Choice = freedom, and who doesn’t like freedom? Plus, being pro- anything is almost always better than being anti- anything. You’ll notice in most coverage of the issue, pro-lifers are called anti-abortionist or anti-choice. Using anti-choice shows the reporter uses the terms preferred by the pro-abortion crowd. In the case of anti-abortion, the negative vibes of the “anti-” outweigh the negative vibes of “abortion”. As a pro-life/anti-abortion, I’d personally prefer to use the term pro-life to describe myself. After all, then I’m “pro-” which is positive, and “life” , and who doesn’t like life? And I’d prefer to call those in favor of allowing abortion to be called anti-life, because life is the bigger issue. But asked me what I’d prefer. 🙂

i am pro choice as well and i would tell her my opinion of her and just blame it on the pregnancy hormones. She needs to know it is NOT OK. She clearly has other kids and can have another one, and if she doesnt want one then she is old enough to use birth control. She is not a teenager who made a mistake. I would tell her how you feel, even if you come of rude. Or atleast tell her that you understand it is her choice, but you do not respect her decision and would like to avoid having a conversation about it.

I’m pro choice ( I don’t know if I could go thru with it, but I definately believe it’s the women’s choice)What bothers me is when women use abortion as a form of birth control!!!! One, I think thats not only irresponsible but totally stupid!! Mistakes happen, no doubt… but people SHOULD learn from their mistakes… and after the first time! Enough said.

It sounds like she definitely has problems. Why would she call a pregnant friend to tell her about her 10th abortion?!?

I know it’s hard to do so, but if you want to help her, try asking her how she’s feeling. Tell her exactly what you think… That she should really invest in getting her tubes tied.

First off, tell your friend that abortions is not birth control. that you agree with a womans right to choose, but not as the right to choose as a sole means of birth control.
as a pro-choice for other, and pro-life for myself i can sympathise with you. i think your friend needs to be told the honest truth about how you feel. you can do this in a polite and caring way. but friends should bever be fearful to tell each other their true opinion. friends should like you b/c you have an opinion that isnt pre-made for you by someone else.
not respecting her choices doesnt make you less of a friend, it makes you human
Good luck

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