Last nite me and a new boyfriend where going to have sex for the 1st time and he seemed nervous like fumbling and telling me sorry if he didnt last,are other men the same?
Not everyone is nervous, but some people are. If they have had negative experiences in the past, then that may contribute to being nervous. If they really like you and want to impress you, that may also cause anxiety. If they suffer from an anxiety disorder, that may also cause them to act nervous. If he has low self-esteem, then he may also be nervous, because he may attach value to himself, based upon his sexual performance. Some guys think they’re not real men, unless they can perform well sexually. They put so much pressure on themselves to perform well sexually, that they actually psych themselves out. That’s why the average sexual encounter lasts about 10 minutes, even though it takes, on average, 20 minutes for a woman to achieve orgasm. This is also why so many women fake orgasms, because they know that these men are already nervous and are exhibiting performance anxiety. They don’t want to add to that anxiety, by letting him know that he couldn’t pleasure them, so they fake it. Of course this creates distrust, and also doesn’t correct the problem, because he isn’t aware there is a problem to be fixed.
The best think you can do, is tell him what you like, encourage him to do the things you enjoy, and tell him what you don’t like. Spontaneity is great, but sometimes it’s not the best way to go if he’s nervous. You may want to just draw him a map and say do this. If you like it, he’ll be less nervous next time. You’re more likely to like it, if you have him do exactly the things you know you enjoy. Once he’s calm, say the 2nd or 3rd time you’ve had sex, then you can try being a bit more creative. Don’t be afraid to tell him you don’t like something either. You’ll enjoy yourself more if you avoid things you don’t like. He’ll enjoy himself more, if you’re enjoying yourself more. If he’s telling you stories about pre-mature ejaculation, it means that he really wants to please you.
You can just tell him, that was the past, and this is the present and things change. He obviously wasn’t with the right woman before, otherwise they’d still be together. That could certainly have contributed to his previous problem. There are also things you can do to fix pre-mature ejaculation. You can place pressure on the base of the penis shaft. This restricts blood flow and makes him last longer. You can use the start and stop method. When he feels as though he’s building, he tells you and you both just stop moving. You hold very still, and wait for it to pass. Then you start again. You do this as many times as you want, until you are ready for him to ejaculate. You can also buy benzocain, which will numb his penis, and make it less sensitive. There are 4,000 nerve endings on the head of the penis and another 2,000 on the base. The clitoris has 6,000 nerve endings. Sometimes these nerve endings are too stimulated. You can buy condoms that contain benzocain, but they’re expensive. I recommend buying Orajel and putting that in the condom. It’s water-based, so it will not destroy the latex. It’s the same stuff used on infants mouths while teething. It does not harm the penis or the vagina. It only slightly numbs it, so he’ll still be able to enjoy sex. It will only numb it enough to delay ejaculation. He can also try masturbating a half hour to an hour before sex. He should feel replenished after this much time has passed, but releasing his sperm earlier in the day, will leave less sperm to be released during intercourse. He’ll also feel calmer during sex, because he’s already orgasmed earlier in the day. Some couples even enjoy sharing mutual masturbation, as part of foreplay.
Men are really no different than women when it comes to emotions. Just as a soman may get nervous being with a new lover, so can men. I would take it as a compliment that he does want to impress you. He cares about his performace and he wants you to be pleased. Work on comforting him. If you question him and make him feel bad about feeling nervous, then that’s called castration behavior. You want to avoid that. It only makes him feel worse and it can actually cause psychological sexual disfunction.
Not all men are like this, just as not all women are like this, but some are. Just be a good lover and comfort him.
Best of luck in life and love. 🙂
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Yep. We men are afraid that we wouldn’t please women long enough on first sex. Most virgin men won’t last long the first round, but second round and more I’m sure it would last long and pleasurable.
Atleast this is what i’ve been told many times. I’m still virgin and yeah Nervous of my ability on first time sex.
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Not really nervous. I might be somewhat nervous/excited as it progresses in that direction because you worry how they will respond to your advancements. Once things are well underway I’m just looking to enjoy myself.
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When a man is suffering from premature ejaculation, he is often climaxing before his partner and in the case of most men it is difficult if not impossible for them to continue intercourse after ejaculating. That’s because chemicals are released when a man ejaculates and these are the same chemicals that make a person feel sleepy and/or not aroused. It’s not that they have suddenly lost interest; just their brain is telling them that the sex is over. This effect is more prominent after intercourse than after masturbation because intercourse actually causes four times more of these chemicals to be released. If premature ejaculation occurs frequently, it can lead to embarrassment for the man and sexual frustration for both partners.
I hope it helps
Sometimes I get pretty nervous. Like kind of shaky, haha. Especially if I really like the girl.
people are usually very apprehensive about the first time. you know the saying ‘practice makes perfect’? (no, im not saying you need to go and shag like rabbits) sex is one of those things that the more experienced you get, the better you are @ pleasing your partner.